triad

some may see loyalty

as choosing a side even in blind waters

 

standing on a side is important

and brave

and world (big and small) changing

 

but only when you understand the side you’re choosing

and

the side you are choosing not

 

once I was a triad of three

there were three

we were three

but then two

became toxic

not the hurt each other angry toxic

 

it was never pointed deprecation

 

my life

caused her life

to spin in unnecessary circles

and her reactions

caused my life,

already spinning out of my hands and out of control,

to only rotate faster

so, we had to stop spinning each other

around

 

but there was one

she was stuck

in between us two

agreeing with my view

but knowing and understanding

her’s too

 

and she never chose

and I never wanted her to pick a side

because if the roles were reversed

 

I would want a friend

who won’t turn their back

when they can’t see me clearly

or don’t know all of my side

 

I would want a friend

who chooses kindness to all

even in confusion

and spinning circles

 

I would want a friend like her

 

land dwellers

you produce such beauty

and no one really knows

the real foundation of you

 

being buried underground

doesn’t allow many people to know you

we may feel you

pushing on the soil

and see the cracks

crumbling earth

as your creations rise

but we can’t guess

what is underneath

 

not everyone

is trying to pierce you

from above land

I was not trying to take my shovel

and cast it into you

in fact, most people

-myself included-

want to run their hands

in the fresh dirt

freed in the shift

and to watch the beauty

that comes forth

that which sprouts from you

 

but we land dwellers

do not have x-ray eyes

to view those roots

the origins of this lush landscape

it is the mystery

and mysteries

they are magical

but they are also enigmas

questions we find hard to answer

I tried to dig deeper

but I felt your resistance

soil seized up and left me

with broken nails and tired fingers

 

I understood

it is hard to open yourself

especially when others have

ripped you from your soil before

but not all of us

are trying to be that reaper

I understood

 

after peeling back some of your earth

I could tell that was not your desire

not wanting to trample new growth

under exploring feet

I walked away

In that stepping back

I saw the whole forest

I can even begin to pick out

where the roots run

yet

still

to this day

I don’t truly know

their depth