the more time changes
the more everything stays the same
some old guy said that,
I’m sure,
and he was right
and so was Alanis
when she sang
“isn’t it ironic”
and you are, the same and ironic.
you proclaim: you cherish truth
in others
yet, your whole existence
is a lie
and you brought others down
as a result of those lies
but, please,
hold onto those who are truthful to you
just remember to reciprocate this time
a lot of us wanted to scream
and some of us (me)
did
but that’s not nice
that’s not ladylike
you were so demur
so they allowed you to scream
into the mic
until you behaved badly
at least according to them
and then they tried to silence you
but those of us that wore
shit kickers
and wrote poetry
never shied away from you
I hope you know
there were a group of us
trailing behind you
by only a couple years
that saw you
and said, “that’s me”
not sweet and spice and everything nice
I’m opinionated and loud
a heart full of justice
and a head full of creations
and you allowed me to be that
when most of the world
turned the other way
thank you
let’s see where this goes…
I float alone
and you stay buoyed
bobbing along
I get bumped and bruised
and you arrive unscathed
still tethered
and still united
I arrive damaged
isolated and anguished
the end
But, yet, still
I look for my heart
under my rib cage of pen strokes
and find it beating strong
pumping forward the life
that should be
out into the ether
knowing that if I don’t
I will falter in everything I do
it will all fade into the fog
of shoulds and coulds
and live in the world of woulds
I want to live in the now
and the do and the is
although society
has its ideas and ideals
that don’t match mine
and, yet, still
I continue forward
guided all the way
maybe you don’t get it
maybe you don’t care
but your actions
ripples through my life
and the damage done
forever effected me
I’m not one to be the victim
but facing why I react
in the ways I do
I can’t help but identify a cause
was partly from you
the hands have stopped
at one o’clock
or maybe a few minutes before
time only stops
maybe once, maybe twice
standing still as we stare
catching the corner
falling deeper
the trails of light catch up
as the tick tick begins again
and motion of the world returns
but I am left
forever changed
I’m not sure what the right word is
when someone shouts about one thing
but portrays something different
hypocrite
seems a bit too harsh in this case
although
it is upsetting the damage caused
spouting about women
who should be able to age with acceptance
yet, you use surgery or your filter
or old outdated photo
to alter your online appearance
the damage caused is that you hurt the cause
that women are only useful
if they are sex objects
and even further
that sexy is youthful
neglecting the experience that comes with age
and experience, well,
knowing how
and how to do it well,
is always titillating
don’t get me wrong
your words (and their message)
are needed in this world
but your face (and all the fake)
is in complete contrast to progress
of women being seen and valued
at any (and every) age
for more than how they look
but that doesn’t get you readers
and followers and publishers
does it?
I think I’m better alone
dangling threads from the cut cord
frayed at my edges
disconnected from the world
I tried to be what’s expected
a tight pretty bow holding it all together
but I am falling out
and failing to keep it in
I’m not living up to expectations
so I retreat
into my own world
cast away the doubts
they only weigh you down
and while a healthy dose
can keep you grounded
too much can drown you
it’s time to allow yourself
to float, anyway,
for when you drop those weights
you find you are able to rise
my words
held in like breath
must pour forth
the longer contained
the more forceful
the exhale
hazel meadows 