pinprick of shine

in hopes of widening the pinprick of shine

when fallen into darkness,

she told her tale.

aiming to stretch the eye in grief

for other dwellers to see.

gazing into midnight at all hours

you still see stars.

sparkles against the black felt

blanketing you in cover of ache.

her story as witness

that even a glimmer is an opening.

a wormhole into another world

where you find passage into 

dawn of rising sun.

cemetery gates

I answer the call

knowing

your voice will rattle through me.

walk into my outer skin

like a ghost haunting this house.

I knew you would penetrate,

stabbing as you do,

not in intent

but in essence.

I cannot near you.

I must leave you graveside –

last dirt tossed

on tomb stone engraved

with your name and mine.

I hope you stay bound

to this graveyard.

making a home

amongst the midnight flowers.

dancing on the soft grass.

in the fog of your heart

find peace.

but I am not of ghosts.

I am of the living

and as I leave I look back

hoping

you’re not following

back through

cemetery gates.

this is ever after

careful in my climb 

I looked out over that great mountainside 

out into the heavens 

and it was then, 

it was then I knew 

we are part of ever after.

just as 

you 

are a part of me.

always.

never turning to ash 

that I scattered 

or cinders that I buried with her body.

you are still part of where I am.

I don’t need to climb cliffs 

or sit on top of clouds 

to know you again.

I can feel you in the breeze

wrapping your arms 

inside my heart 

as the ache 

of my missing you.

in time

in between the spaces of breaths 

is where time lies. 

in unmoving motion 

flowing low in tides 

allowing air to float over. 

patient for the notice 

tucked away to tick 

without care for tomorrow. 

as, once the pockets 

that surround time’s palms, 

those bursts of breath, 

extinguish

so too 

does time.

giving over

arms in welcome to surrender

chest open for the stretch of the heart

to extend into unknown

there is no control

so take me and let it rain

pouring the salt tonic

over her beating rhythm

in wait for “more testing”

to shrivel and shrink

while naked to the world

bringing every risk as possible

having walked this road

again and again and again

while the repeat is wearisome

and worrisome that the next time

will be “the time” I won’t walk away

with relief

I surrender

I know I am with love

whatever the results

your power

I’m not responsible for your actions

this

I have come to understand

no one

forces that hand

you made your own choice

as much as I would have

held your hand in the dark

until the light of morning came

to save you

from yourself

you had decided

and never reached for another hand

that night

I wish your isolation

wouldn’t have meant your desolation

or vice versa

but I know I couldn’t change it

no matter how long I held your hand

no matter how much I listened

someone else

can not change you

only you

have that power

and it’s a grand realization

liberating you

to be and do

anything

 

I wish you would have known